


(500) Days of Our Lives

by WuvWinchesterHugs



Series: Crossovers [12]
Category: (500) Days of Summer (2009), Days of Our Lives
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Karaoke, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Starts as Paulson, WilSon endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 17,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22104718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WuvWinchesterHugs/pseuds/WuvWinchesterHugs
Summary: This is a story of boy meets boy. But you should know, this is not a love story.
Relationships: Sonny Kiriakis/Paul Narita
Series: Crossovers [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542751
Kudos: 3





	1. Prologue

Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

  
Especially you, Matthew Cooper

Asshole.


	2. Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a story of boy meets boy.
> 
> The first boy, Paul Narita of San Francisco, California, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he finally met, “the one”.
> 
> The other boy, Jackson "Sonny" Kiriakis of Salem, Illinois, believed the exact opposite.

This is a story of boy meets boy

_Day 1_

The first boy, Paul Narita of San Francisco, California, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he finally met, “the one”.

As he sits in on a meeting, thinking back to his younger years, he remembers that this belief stems from early exposure to sad music, and a complete misunderstanding of The Graduate.

The other boy, Jackson "Sonny" Kiriakis of Salem, Illinois, believed the exact opposite.

Since the death of his mother, and the eventual pulling away of his father, Sonny could honestly say he only loved two things.

The first one was his well toned body.

The second was how easily he could just burn off all the fat he gains, and feel nothing.

Paul meets Jackson, or Sonny as he calls himself, on January 8th, the same day of that meeting.

As he watches Sonny work, Paul knows almost immediately who he's been looking for.

This is a story of boy meets boy, but you'd do well to keep in mind, this is not a love story.


	3. Love Kills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think we should stop seeing each other."

_Day 290_

A young girl rides her bike downtown, straight to the apartment building, ties up her bike on the rack, and hits the button to be buzzed in.

Once the door buzzes, she barges right in, straight to the door that's slowly opening, greeted by two men at the door.

Chad greets her, “We didn't know who else could help.”

The other, Neil, tells him, “It's Derrick all over again.”

The girl just looks back at them, and says,

“You did the right thing.”, taking off her helmet and asks, “So where is he?”

Before either Chad or Neil can answer, a loud crash can be heard, and they all turn their heads to the source: Paul, smashing plates one by one, robotically.

But before he can smash another one, Paul hears, “Paul.”

And that stops him, turning his head towards the newcomer, “Ari. What are you doing here?”

Ari tells him, completely sympathetic, “I came to help.”

Paul thinks it has to be a joke, considering how he feels, “Help me how?”

Ari focuses on the more immediate matter, “Well, first off, put the plate down.”

Paul stares at the plate for a moment, like he completely forgot he'd been about to smash it, or even that he'd been smashing them in the first place.

But finally, he sets it down, following Ari towards the couch, and Ari hands him a glass of clear liquid. “Drink this.”

Paul drinks it all in one gulp, as Neil asks, “What was that?”

Ari tells him, “Vodka.” as Paul feels obligated to ask,

“Do your parents know you're here? Gotta be past your curfew.”

Ari just sighs and says, “Don't worry about that. Why don't you start from the beginning, and walk us through what happened?”

It's the absolute last thing he wants to do, but Paul also knows he's gonna have to talk about it eventually, so slowly, he begins.

“Things were going very well.”

He thinks back to all those moments that had seemed so perfect. The hand holding, the kisses in bed. The emotional hugs, and that time he got Sonny to smile by showing him an album from his favorite artist.

“Then what?” Ari asks, bringing him back to reality.

Paul definitely doesn't want to talk about that, because it's still so fresh, but he still forces himself to say it.

_“I think we should stop seeing each other.” Sonny says at the diner._

Ari's surprised, “Just like that? No warning?”

Paul confirms, “No warning.”

Chad tries to help, “Did he even say why?”

_Sonny looks right at him, as he says honestly, “I mean. This thing we're doing. What are we doing? Is it normal?”_

_Paul, unable to process what Sonny just said, tries to say something, anything, to salvage this, “Normal? I...I dunno. And I don't care. I'm happy. Aren't you?”_

_Sonny's confused, “You're happy?”_

_Paul is equally confused, “You're not?”_

_Sonny tries to get Paul to see his side, “All we do is argue.”_

_Paul isn't having it, “You're wrong.”_

In the present, Ari tries to be comforting, “Maybe he wasn't in the best mood.”

Chad chimes in again, “Maybe a gay...guy... type... thing.”

Neil asks, “So then what?”

_“You can't seriously say you didn't see this coming. Come on. We've been Sid and Nancy for a while now.”_

_Paul has to remind him, because if Sonny seriously thinks he's using that analogy correctly, he's just wrong. Plain and simple._

_“Sonny, Sid stabbed Nancy seven times. You can't be serious. We don't always get along, but I'm not Sid Vicious.”_

_But Sonny wasn't thinking that at all, “No, see, that's what you aren't getting. I'm Sid.”_

_But Paul doesn't like that analogy either, “So I'm Nancy?”_

_But then their waitress shows up with their order, with Sonny's Denver omelet, and Paul’s avocado toast with two hard boiled eggs._

_“Let's just eat, then we'll keep talking later.”_

_Paul doesn't even touch his food, but Sonny just digs right in, like he didn't just break Paul’ heart._

_“Mmm. Delicious. Really glad we did this here. Gotta love a Denver omelet.”_

_When Sonny looks up, he notices Paul is still staring at him blankly, so he asks, “What?"_

_Paul seriously can't believe Sonny's acting like nothing's wrong, after everything he just said._

_Seeing absolutely no reason to still be here, Paul gets up and starts walking away._

_But not before he hears Sonny say, “Wait, Paul, don't leave. I still think you’re my best friend!”_

Everyone in the present winces when they hear that part, but only Ari tries to make Paul see reason.

“You've dumped people before.”

Paul can agree with that, “Yes.”

“And people have dumped you before.”

But Paul can't focus on anything, or anyone, else, “But this was different.”

Ari asks, “Why?”

Paul says simply, “Cause it's Sonny.”

Neil tries to be encouraging, “So what? You'll meet someone entirely new. All I'm trying to say here is, you're one of the best guys I know. You'll get over him.”

Chad offers his own encouragement, “It's just like they say. Plenty of other fish in the sea.”

Paul immediately shoots that down, “No.”

Chad plays dumb, “They do say that.”

Paul shoots it down again, “Well, they're liars. I don't want to get over him. I want him back.”

There's an awkward silence when Paul says that, but Paul doesn't care. Sonny is the one, and he's gonna get him back.


	4. Pumped Up Kicks

_Day 1_

Paul is in a meeting, kind of zoning out, while Neil is talking about ideas for a new holiday.

It should be noted that Paul is a greeting card writer at a popular card company, along with Neil.

Paul’ boss turns to him once Neil sits back down, asking,

“Whaddya think, Narita? Wanna write up some prototypes for this?”

But then, a man walks up to his boss, telling him about a caller in line three, which prompts the boss to introduce him,

“Everyone, his is Sonny. My assistant. Just moved here from…” he turns back to Sonny, having forgotten, and Sonny supplies, “Salem.”

“Salem. Right. Sonny, everyone. Everyone, Sonny.”

Sonny tries to get away from the awkwardness by saying, “Nice to meet you.” and dismissing himself, walking away.

It should be noted here there are only two types of people in this world. Men, and women.

Sonny Kiriakis was a man. Height, average. Weight, average. Shoe size, also average.

For all intents and purposes, Sonny Kiriakis was just another gay guy.

Except he wasn't.

In 1998, Sonny quoted the book _The Picture of Dorian Gray_ , for his senior quote in the yearbook,

“To realise one's nature perfectly is what each of us is here for."**

This spike in the Salem sales of the book continues to puzzle industry analysts.

Sonny's employment at the coffee shop during his sophomore year coincided with an inexplicable 212% increase in revenue.

Every apartment Sonny rented was offered at an average rate of 9.2% below market value.

And his commute to work, which involved a long walk to and from his work while he was living in his family's mansion, averaged 18.4 double takes a day.

It was quite a rare quality, this, “Sonny effect.”

Very rare, and yet something many post adolescent men have encountered at least once in their lives.

For Paul Narita to find it now in a city of countless offices, slightly less commercial buildings, and 3.8 million people, Paul was convinced that it could only be explained by one thing:

Fate.

_Day 3_

Paul is checking Sonny out when Neil tells him,

“I hear he's a real asshole.”

Paul breaks from his staring long enough to ask, “Really?”

Neil confirms, “Yeah. Someone tried to talk to him in the copy room, and he just wasn't having it.”

Paul defends Sonny, “Maybe he was in a rush.”

Neil says, “Or maybe he's a manly, ‘I'm on top of the world’ superdick.”

Once he stops to consider it, Paul decides Neil might be right.

“Damn.”

“I know. He's pretty hot for a guy.”

Paul can't help the bad mood that's creeped into his voice, “It's unsettling. Why's it always gotta be the cute guys that think they can treat people like meat and get away with it?”

Paul shakes his head then, “No, you know what? Forget him. I don't even care. That's how he wants it? Fine.”

_Day 4_

Paul has his headphones on as he walks into the elevator, completely oblivious to his surroundings, when who should walk in right before the doors slide closed but Sonny Kiriakis.

Paul keeps feigning obliviousness, now that he knows Sonny's true colors, but Sonny points to his head phones, saying something Paul can't make out.

Paul just waves and says, “Hello.”, but when Sonny says something again, his curiosity gets the better of him, and he pulls one ear off asking, “What was that?”

Sonny says again, “I love Foster the People.” gesturing to his headphones.

Paul is momentarily paralyzed, so Sonny tries again, “You got good taste in music.”

Paul asks him, having broken his paralysis, “You like Foster the People?”

Sonny gives him a small impromptu concert, singing along with Paul music, “All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run better run…"

Once that part stops, Sonny tells Paul, “Love em.” before the elevator door opens, and Sonny gets off, and Paul is left watching him go.

“Wow.” is all he says, as the elevator door closes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **What Sonny says to Will back when Will was still struggling to come out.


	5. Bad Kids

_ Day 8 _

It's a coworkers engagement party at the office, and it's in full swing. The cake’s being sliced up and passed around, as are drinks, when Paul, on a whim, grabs two glasses and goes looking for a certain green eyed freckled person.

Eventually, he finds Sonny by himself, not really talking to anyone, possibly looking a little bored.

“Oh, hello. Sonny, right?”

Sonny looks up, smiles, and responds, “Yeah, that's me. And you're…” He trails off, then points, “Foster the People fan.”

Paul nods, “Yes. I'm Paul.”, then offers Sonny one of his drinks. “You want some…” but trails off, cause his minds drawing a blank, “I don't know what it is, but it's not champagne.”

But Sonny just takes it, “Sure. Always love a drink.”

There doesn't seem to be anything else to talk about for the moment, so Paul tries another approach, “So, how are you?”

Sonny, unfortunately, is no better at it than Paul is, and just says, “Pretty alright.”

Paul asks him, “Did you just move here?”

Once Sonny confirms, Paul then asks, “When was that?”

“Saturday.”

Naturally, Paul is surprised, “That's...wow. What, um, brought you here?”

Sonny shrugs, “I dunno. Wanted something new. Something that wasn't where I used to live.”

Paul nods, and attempts at a joke, “Then you're definitely in the right place.”

They both laugh at that for a good few minutes, but then they realize the party's moving back downstairs, and follow the crowd.

Sonny asks Paul, “You work here long?”

Paul answers honestly, “Only about 3 or 4 years.”

Sonny seems a little surprised by that, “Wow. So, what, you always wanted to write greeting cards?”

Paul laughs at this, and again, answers honestly, “No. I don't think I even want to do it now.”

Sonny then says the next logical thing, “Then quit. Do something else.”

Paul agrees, “Probably. Actually, I studied to be an architect.”

Sonny impressed by that answer, “Oh yeah? That's pretty cool. So what happened?”

Paul shrugs, “Just didn't work out. Needed a job that would actually have me, so here I am.”

Then, now that they've moved back to Paul’ desk, Sonny asks, “You any good, at least?”

Paul picks up a prototype and hands it to Sonny, “Well, I did write this one.”

Sonny flips open the card and reads it out loud, “You found your True North. Congratulations on your engagement.” Sonny looks at Paul, “That's pretty good.”

Paul answers, maybe bragging a little, “Actually one of our bestsellers.”

Sonny jokes, “No, I meant as an architect.”

Paul tries to laugh back, “Yeah, I highly doubt that.”

Sonny tries to make him feel better, “Well, at least you got some talent as a greeting card writer.”

Paul tries for a joke of his own, “Thank you. Actually I had a similar nickname in college. Mr. Talent.”

Sonny misses the joke entirely, and responds, “They called me Mr. Anal.”

Paul spits his drink out at that. Whatever he was expecting, it definitely wasn't that.

Sonny either doesn't get why Paul overreacted, or he's pretending not to, as he says, “I was a bit controlling whenever I had a group project."

Paul nods in understanding, but it's pretty obvious that whatever moment there could've been between them, has been shattered.

With that, Sonny dismisses himself, “I should be getting back to…” and walks back to his desk.

Paul calls faintly, “All right. Talk to you soon.”

Once Sonny's back at his desk, inspiration hits Paul like a bolt of lightning. Within seconds, he's pulled out some paper and started sketching a skyline.

But within seconds, he finds himself erasing it, until finally, he just throws it in the trash. Oh well.


	6. Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want

_Day 154_

Paul and Chad are walking down the street, when Paul tells Chad, “I'm not so sure about it, but I think it's official. I'm in love with Sonny.”

Chad doesn't have a chance to respond before Paul continues,

“I love his sincere smile.

I love his spiky hair.

I love how confidently he holds himself.

I love his baby face.

I love how his eyes light up when he's passionate about something.

I love how he snorts when he laughs.

I love how he always has a smile on his face when sleep takes him over.

I love how I hear the song Clarity by Zedd, and every single time, I think of him. I love how he makes me feel. Like, I can do anything. Or, like I want to break the rules.”

Paul just abruptly walks away after that, which prompts Chad to say, while shaking his head,

“This is definitely not good.”

_Day 11_

Paul is playing a video game with Ari, while also telling him about Sonny

“He likes Maurice and Oscar Wilde. We talked about Chicago Fire for about 20 minutes. Can't believe how compatible we are. Actually, he's not even close to what I thought at all. He's so incredible.”

Ari just rolls her eyes as she tries to simultaneously focus on the video game, “Oy vey.”

Paul, unable to see what the problem is, asks, “What?”

Ari just points out the obvious, “Just because you and a hot guy happen to get along, does not mean you're supposed to be together! ”

Paul has no clue what Ari is talking about, “What do you mean?”

_Day 22_

Paul, Chad and Neil are sitting at a bar where Paul tells them,

“It's over.”

Chad and Neil ask together, “What?”

“Me and Sonny.”

Neil asks, because he has no tact, “Was it really on in the first place?”

Paul rolls his eyes, and tells them, “No. But maybe if we lived in a world where things happen like they're supposed to, something might've been.”

Chad is no help either, “Yeah, well, sorry, but we're in reality, not a soap opera.”

Neil finally asks, “So, what exactly happened?”

Paul has been waiting for this, so he starts, “So we're in the elevator. We got nine more floors to ride, and it's just us. I asked how his weekend was, and he says it was good. Can you believe that?”

Naturally, Chad and Neil are completely confused, “I'm sorry. Believe what?” “Did we miss something here?”

“He said, 'it was good’. Emphasis on the good. He might as well have said he spent the weekend boinking some blond haired blue eyed golden boy. Asshole. But whatever. I'm over it.”

Neil has to point out what an idiot Paul is being, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Paul just lays it all out, “He's not interested in me like that, and there's nothing I can do about that.”

Neil asks, “Just because he said he had a 'good’ weekend.”

Paul tries to tell him, “And other things.”

Chad tries to see if he can help, “Did he say hi instead of hey? Cause you know that means he's straight, right?”

But Paul isn't interested in that, “Look, I gave him tons of chances.”

_Sonny walks up to Paul desk and asks the people in the area, “Heading to the supply room. Anyone need anything?”_

_Paul sees this as an opportunity, and says, very awkwardly, “Oh, you know what I need.”_

_But Sonny just stands there, waiting for an answer, and Paul has to cover, quick,_

_“Toner.”_

_Sonny nods, “Sure. No prob.” And walks away._

_Another time, Paul plays a Foster the People song, loud enough for Sonny to hear all the way at his desk._

_When Sonny shows no sign of hearings it, Paul puts it up a little higher, but all Sonny does is clean up his desk and leave._

Back in the present, Paul is now telling them,

“Whatever. It's alright. I don't need these mind games. It's just, you you know. I'm fine where I am. I'm not tangled up in knots.”

He pauses for a minute, before he muses, “Lot of people don't realize it, but being alone, it's actually not so bad.”

Chad just tells him flat out, “Just ask him out already.”

Paul shakes his head, “Don't be an idiot.”


	7. Here Comes Your Man

_Day 27_

Paul is listening to music at his desk, when Neil, whose desk is right next to him, gestures for him to take his headphones off.

When Paul finally does, the first thing Neil says, “Tomorrow night. Karaoke.”

Paul has no problem telling how he feels about that plan, “No.”

Neil tries to goad him, “Come on!”

“After how wasted you got last time? Not a chance.”

Neil waves it off, “I wasn't that bad.”

Oh yeah? Let Paul remind him how bad he was, “You started screaming at everyone, tried to hump one of the other singers, and told everyone they should try to start an orgy.”

Neil, of course, only focuses on the positive, “But nobody took me seriously, did they?”

Paul doesn't care, “Still not going.”

Neil informs him of the real reason he's bringing it up, “It's actually a work thing. The whole office will be there.”

Paul has gone back to focusing on his computer, dismissing, “Couldn't even if I wanted-.”

But Neil isn't about to let Paul ignore him like that,

“Did you not hear what I said? The whole. Office. Is. Going.”

And that, of course, makes Paul look over at Sonny, who's currently helping a coworker.

Paul smiles then, because ever since he'd just about given up, this opportunity arose. This could be his shot.

  
  


_Day 28_

Neil is already singing a horrible rendition of INXS’ 'Need You Tonight’, and Paul makes a beeline straight for Sonny, who's closer to the stage, greeting him,

“Hi.”

“Hi. Wait. Everyone said you weren't coming.”

Paul is flattered, “You asked if I was-.”

But he never gets a chance to finish, cause right then, Neil finishes, and grabs Paul in a bear hug.

And wouldn't you know it, Sonny's name gets called next, so he downs a shot, and says, “That's me. Gotta go.”

Sonny goes over to the stage, attempting to adjust the mic to his height,

“Hey. New to karaoke, so no teasing, alright?”

Of course, Sonny's a natural, even with a song like “I Will Survive.” Paul can't stop smiling as he watches the performance.

Afterwards, Paul grabs two drinks, heads to the booth where both Sonny and Neil are talking, and interrupts the conversation,

“Hello.”

Sonny turns, and upon seeing Paul, smiles.

Paul goes on, passing the second drink to Neil, telling Sonny, “Didn't think you'd wanna join us. Would've gotten you a drink.”

Sonny just holds up his bottle, “I'm good.”

Paul just has to compliment his performance, “You were... interesting to listen to.”

Sonny nods, “Thank you. Wanted to sing, ‘Come On Eileen’, but guess they didn't have that one.”

Neil tells Sonny, drunkenly, “Paul's from California.”

Sonny raises his eyebrows, “Really?”

Paul confirms, “I did. Lived there almost my whole life. Until I was in my 20s.”

Sonny brings up the song again, “I actually named my dog after that song.”

Paul totally misses it, asking, “What was her name?”

There's an awkward silence, before Sonny supplies, “Eileen.”

But, perhaps Sonny chooses to forgive him, since they're all a little tipsy.

Neil gets right down to it, “You dating anybody?”

Sonny has no problem answering right away, “No.”

Neil asks, “Why?”

Both Paul and Neil are surprised at Sonny's answer, “No one's looking, and neither am I.”

Neil, the drunk bastard, has to be a dick here, “I don't believe you.”

Sonny challenges him, “You don't believe a guy can be fine living alone without throwing sex into it?”

Neil then asks the next rude thing, “Are you straight?”

Sonny dodges it, “None of your business. I just don't really feel the need to attach myself to someone. In fact, I don't feel the need to attach myself to anything.”

During this whole thing, Paul is just staring at Sonny with a dorky smile on his face.

Sonny decides to just lay it all out, hopefully ending this conversation for good,

“Alright. I'll just come right out and say it. I'm okay just having fun doing what I'm doing right now. Relationships complicate things, and people get hurt when things don't go the way they want to. Who needs that crap anyway? We're still young, right? We live in a city where it's okay to want to be young. Why not just sit back and enjoy it, and save the boring stuff for when we're grumpy old men?”

But finally, Paul has to know something about all of that, “But what happens if you find the one?”

Sonny laughs at hearing that, prompting Paul to go, “What?”

“You don't actually buy into that crap, do you?”

“It's the one. Not the tooth fairy.”

“What does that even mean? I mean, seriously? It's not like I haven't been in relationships before, but I am absolutely positive none of them were it. Not to mention, you've seen today's divorce rates.”

Neil pipes up again, not being even remotely helpful,

“Methinks the man doth protesth too much.”

But Sonny's ready for it, “No, he actually doethn't” Then he turns back to Paul, “There's no such thing as the one. It's made up.”

Paul can't let this go, “It just so happens I think you're wrong.”

Sonny clearly is getting uncomfortable with all of this, because he challenges Paul next, “Fine. What exactly am I supposed to be looking for?”

But Paul doesn't think Sonny really wants instructions, so he goes for a different approach,

"You'll know. Regardless of who it is, or how you meet, somewhere in your heart, deep down in your bones, nay, your _soul_ , you will just know.”

For a second it looks like Sonny might have taken those words to heart, but he just sips his beer and says, “Agree to disagree.”

But then, out of nowhere, Sonny nominates Paul, and after stumbling around while singing, somehow, they wind up back at the bar, trying to figure out the tune of a theme song they both love.

Naturally, Neil is back to singing, but in the middle, he just stops, and that's when Paul and Sonny decide to help Neil into a taxi to take him home.

They make it all the way to the open car door, before Neil suddenly turns himself around, and says, “Hey.”

Paul, trying to be a good friend, asks, “Yes?”

But Neil points at Paul, “Not you.”, then points at Sonny. “You.” He thumbs back at Paul while still looking at Sonny. “He likes you.”

Paul, upon hearing that, shoves him into the car, “Alright, that's enough.”

“Just tell him alre-.” Neil is cut off by the door slamming, and the taxi drives off.

Paul is all apologies, “I'm sorry. Don't know what it is about him and karaoke.”

Sonny asks, “Is it true?”

Paul misses what Sonny was getting at, “Yeah. Completely. Every single time.”

Sonny shakes his head, “No, not that. The other thing.”

Paul plays dumb, “What other thing?”

Sonny asks gently, “You...like me?”

Paul tries to play it off with a laugh, “Of course I do.”

Sonny tries to test him, “As friends, right?”

Paul doesn't have the heart to correct him, “Of course. As friends.”

But Sonny needs to make sure, “Only as friends?”

That leaves Paul stuttering his way through the truth, “Yeah, I don't know. Have thought much about-. Yes. Why?”

Sonny tells him, “No biggie. Just think you're a really interesting guy, and I think we should be friends. Can we do that?”

Paul can feel his chances dwindling away, but he agrees, “Yes. You and me, we can be friends.”

Sonny smiles, “Good.”

They stare at each other for a few moments, before Sonny breaks the moment, “Well, I'm heading this way, so...”

And that's it. Sonny walks away, and Paul again just stares after him, wondering if he just blew it.

_Day 31_

Paul is in the copy room when Sonny comes in. Paul is already working on his stuff, but Sonny takes a second or two to set himself up.

Other than an exchange of, “Hi”s, they don't really talk.

Paul has no idea how Sonny feels, but for Paul, he can't help but feel awkward. He stares at Sonny, while Sonny just stares off somewhere else.

Paul attempts to fix it, turning his head, “So, that night was awkward.”

But he's surprised to find Sonny is now standing right next to him. And not only that, but Sonny actually leans in and kisses him.

Their work is temporarily forgotten as the kiss happens, but Paul wishes it didn't have to stop.

But all too soon, the kiss is over, and Sonny goes straight back to his copy machine and finishes up his work, gives Paul a smile, and leaves.

Huh. Maybe Sonny doesn't wanna be just friends after all.


	8. Chapter 8

_Still Day 31_

At Paul’ apartment, there's a continuous banging on the front door, which doesn't let up until Paul finally goes to answer it.

It's Chad, and he's pissed, “You son of a bitch.”

Paul opens the door wider to let him through, whole also attempting to shush him.

“Seriously? The same guy you've been oogling over for weeks?”

Paul attempts to defend himself, “It wasn't oogling.”

“The guy you said was completely out of your league, that you'd never get a chance with. That guy?”

Paul tries again to get him to calm down, “Chad, please.”

Naturally, Chad gets right down to it, “You boink him?”

Paul immediately objects, “No!”

Chad keeps going, “Hummer? Handy?”

Paul keeps denying, “No, Chad. There were no jobs. We just kissed.”

Chad doesn't believe him, “Come on. I'm one of your best friends. The one that put up with all your lovelorn laments about this guy for weeks. You were checking all those boxes for stalking!”

Paul tries one more time, “Chad, shut up.”

But it no longer matters, because a door can be heard opening, and wouldn't you know it, Sonny walks right through.

Upon seeing Chad, Sonny waves, saying, “Hi.”

Chad is friendly right back, “Heya.”

Sonny walks up to Chad, introducing himself, “I'm Sonny.”

Chad tries to at least be civil, introducing himself as well, “I'm Chad.”

Sonny shakes his hand, “Hi, Chad. Nice to meet you.”

But then it's an awkward silence, given what, or rather who, they were just talking about, and now with him right there with them.

Luckily, Chad's not completely oblivious. “I'm just gonna go then. Pretend I was never here.”

Chad's almost completely out of the apartment, but he turns back, reminding Paul, “Oh, right! Paul, let me know if any jobs happen, alright?”

Paul just shuts him right up, “Goodbye, Chad!”

The door can be heard opening and closing, so Paul now has to cover for what just happened.

He turns to Sonny, explaining, “He's just...an old friend.” But then he remembers something else. “If you heard that, uh…”

Sonny asks nonchalantly, “Heard what?”

Which is indicator enough for Paul, “Nothing. You ready to go?”

Sonny walks past him, “Totally. I'm stalking. Scuse me, starving.”

Busted.


	9. There Goes the Fear

_Day 282_

Sonny and Paul are in a furniture store, and Paul attempts to try something they did a while back, pretending to press the microwaves on display.

“Um, Sonny? Our microwaves aren't working.” When he hears no response, he pretends to check the other ones, and says, “None of our microwaves are working.”

But Sonny just gives Paul a blank look, and walks away, leaving Paul to wonder what could've changed between them so fast.

_Day 34_

“What are we doing here again?”

Sonny tries to remember the name, “Uh, something called trivets.”

As they walk past several displays, Paul asks, “How about a flygel?”

But Sonny laughs good-naturedly and says, “Nah, not for me.”

They both chuckle at that, until finally, they reach where several home displays are set up, and Paul, out of nowhere, just plops himself down in one of the couches.

“This couch is very... comfortable in our new home.”

Sonny sees what Paul is doing, and plays along, sitting right next to him, “Nice little pad we got here, huh?”

He reaches for the remote, “Oh yeah. Law and Order is on.” He pretends to try and change the channel. “Hm. TV doesn't seem to be working.”

Paul just says, “Oh dear.” But then, “I'm hungry. Want some pizza?”

Sonny follows Paul to a kitchen display, and Paul goes to the oven, while Sonny sits down at the table.

“Smells delicious.”

Paul opens the oven and pretends to pull it out, telling Sonny, “It is delicious. I made it myself.”

Sonny smiles, looking down at the plate, “Love me some everything pizza.”

Paul reminds him, “Your favorite.”

Paul goes to turn on the sink, trying the faucets, only to discover something, “Sink's broken.”

Sonny gets up here, and assures him, “Well, that's alright. Because.” He leads Paul to another section, “That's why we have two kitchens!”

Paul grabs Sonny, “Always thinking ahead.”

But Sonny's ever the slippery one, “Race you to the bedroom.” and runs towards one of the display beds.

When Paul finally catches up with him, Sonny's already lying on the bed, patting the covers for Paul to join him.

Paul does, and upon noticing something, makes a joke, “Um, Sonny, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but…”

Sonny's full attention is on him, and Paul turns his head towards the door,

“We have a Chinese family in our bathroom.”

Sonny follows Paul’ gaze, and sure enough, a Chinese family is staring at them, and all they can do is chuckle, but luckily, the family decides to leave.

With that, the two both turn until they're both on their sides, looking at each other.

“This was fun.” Sonny tells Paul, smiling. “You're a fun guy.”

Paul says, “Thanks.” And leans in for a kiss, which Sonny reciprocates.

But apparently Sonny has something else in mind, because the mood turns serious, “Look, uh... I really need to tell you that, um...I'm not looking for anything serious. That alright?”

Paul doesn't really get what Sonny's trying to say, so he agrees, “Yes.”

But Sonny apparently needs Paul to understand, because he tells Paul, “You sure? Cause some people really wig out when I tell them that.”

Again, Paul just agrees, “Well, I'm not some people.”

Sonny asks, “You sure?”

Paul, however, thinks he can get around that, so he says, “Just something casual, right? Taking it slow?”

That was apparently the right thing to say, because Sonny smiles, and says, “Right. Exactly. No pressure.”

Then Sonny gets up, Paul following after him, and perhaps that conversation was something Sonny really needed to have, because once they're walking again, Sonny grabs Paul’s hand, and they keep walking holding hands the rest of the way out of the store.

Much later, they're fooling around in Paul’s apartment, but before it can get too heavy, Paul stops, asking, “Can you wait for a moment?”

Once Sonny nods, Paul heads for the bathroom and turns on the light.

Paul goes to the mirror, trying to calm himself down,

“He's just a guy. Just a guy that wants to keep it casual. Hence why he's in my bed right now. But that's casual. That's what you do in a casual relationship. That's fine. Perfect.”

Once that's done, Paul walks back into the bedroom, only to find Sonny under the covers, naked.

Paul is so shocked, he can only say, “Hi.”

“Hi.”

Yep. This is definitely a relationship Paul can get behind. And who knows? Maybe he'll get Sonny to change his mind.

With that, Paul gets on the bed, and gives Sonny a deep, long kiss, and the both of them settle in for one rough night.


	10. You Make My Dreams

_Day 35_

The next morning, Paul leaves his apartment with his head held high, an air of confidence following him as he heads to work.

Everywhere he goes, people seem to be in a good mood, every time he looks at his reflection, he actually finds he likes what he sees.

What can he say, really? He finally scored the man of his dreams, and he can't help it if that just happens to make him feel good about himself.

In no time at all, he's at the elevator that takes him to his office, and for the first time in a long time, he has a smile on his face.

_Day 303_

Paul is exiting the elevator on his floor, now looking completely disheveled as well as crushed. Honestly, if he could've gotten out of work, he would've.

But, one way or another, life had to move on, and if he's being honest, he doesn't really have a legit excuse to skip out on work.

He sits at his desk, unable to not notice that his boss is talking to his new assistant, the one that replaced Sonny after he quit.

Across from him, Neil asks, “So did you get your loverboy back yet?”

Paul just says vaguely, “It's a work in progress.”

But Neil can see that this breakup is hitting hard, so he offers a different kind of advice,

“Try writing a book.”

Paul has no idea what to say to that, so he asks, “What?”

“It's like the great Henry Miller said. Best way to get over someone is to turn them into literature.”

Paul only has one thing to say about that, “He had much more sex than me. Probably even more than you.”

But then, he gets an email notification. When he looks, he sees that it's Sonny.

Paul exclaims, “This is my chance!” and goes to read the email.

“Good to hear from you, man. Not this week, but maybe next? And can I take this to mean you're ready to be friends?”

And just like that, his entire ray of hope is diminished.

Today's gonna be one long ass day at work.


	11. Chapter 11

_Day 45_

Neil walks into the copy room, only to catch Sonny humming something into his phone. This prompts him to turn back and walk over to Paul, who's listening to Sonny's humming on his own phone and snickering.

“That's it. I can't believe it took us so long to figure it out.”

Neil approaches behind him, and informs Paul, “Sonny's gone loco.”

  
  


_Day 87_

Paul and Sonny are in a video rental place, arguing about what Sonny's just declared as his favorite song.

“Can you please just try to be serious?”

“I am serious!”

“No, you have to be joking.”

“I am absolutely not joking in the slightest.”

“Two Cars‘’?”

“Yes! Two Cars is the best Death Cab song ever recorded.”

“Why don't you say 'New Candles’ while you're at it.”

“I love Walla.”

“Nobody loves Walla.”

Sonny fires back, “That's part of his charm.”

But then, Sonny spots a curtain with a sign advertising adult films, and leads Paul to follow him behind it.

Sonny grabs one that looks interesting, “This is one I haven't seen yet. Good reviews too.”

  
  


Later, they're at Paul apartment, watching the film, and they're both very entranced by what they're watching.

But apparently, the whole time, it was giving Sonny ideas, “Know something? I think we should try it out. Doesn't look hard.”

Within moments, they're in the kitchen, stripped naked, attempting to recreate the move, but it's failing miserably, with their bodies in awkward positions.

“What're you asking me for?”

“This was your idea!”

But luckily, Sonny's a good sport, and just laughs, and tells Paul, “Okay, put your hand on the edge of the sink behind me.”

Paul complies best he can, and Sonny counts down, “3, 2, 1.”

Paul pushes, but all that happens is he loses his balance and winds up falling on the floor and taking Sonny with him.

  
  


_Day 95_

Paul is taking Sonny for a tour of the city from an architect's perspective.

“From the streets, it's not so exciting.” Paul says now, as he leads Sonny on the sidewalk.

“But I if you look up” Paul points upward, “The Arts building. The designers are actually two of my favorites.”

Eventually, they find themselves on a bench where they can look at several architectural marvels all at once.

“This is actually my favorite spot in the city.” Paul tells Sonny.

“It is?” Sonny asks, surprised. “Why?”

Paul explains, “That's…actually kinda hard to explain. See that building?” He points to one, and Sonny nods. “That's been there longer than either of us have been alive.” He points to another one, “And that right there is rumored to have been the first skyscraper to be put in the city.”

Sonny seems fascinated by this information, so he tries to point at one himself, “So what's that one?”

Paul asks, “That one?” to make sure Sonny's not trying to pull his leg. Sonny nods, so Paul has to inform him, “That's just a parking lot. But there's so much more beautiful stuff here though.” He shakes his head sadly. “Just wish people would really stop to appreciate what we have here.” Paul starts to get fired up again, “If I had it my way…” but trails off, thinking it might sound dumb if he says it out loud.

But Sonny encourages him, “If you had your way, what?”

Paul shrugs, “Not sure. I'd find a way to make them appreciate it.”

Sonny pushes him to keep going, “How?”

Paul appreciates Sonny's encouragement, but he still feels a bit shy, “There's plenty you could do.”

But apparently Sonny was prepared to do Paul one better, pulling out a pen and telling Paul, “Show me. Come on. I'm completely clueless about architecture.”

Paul takes the pen, and asks, “You really want me to draw something? But there's no paper.”

Sonny just says, “Then use my arm. Was planning on getting a tattoo anyway.”

Paul finally decides, what the hell, so he takes Sonny's arm, telling him, “All right. Let me see your arm.”

Very slowly, a skyline starts to take shape on Sonny's arm, as Paul slowly draws precise lines, careful not to press into the skin too hard.

“First thing I'd do is integrate the buildings better, so to do that, I'd maximize light capacity.”

He pauses to lift Sonny's arm to make sure his drawing is accurate, before deciding the drawing is complete.

  
  


_Day 109_

Finally, Paul gets invited to Sonny's apartment, and Sonny immediately apologizes, “Sorry, it's still a bit messy.”

While Sonny takes off his outer shirt and sets his keys down, Paul takes a moment to look around the apartment.

For Paul Narita, this is the night everything changes. The wall Sonny so often hid behind, the wall of emotional distance, of space, of casual, is slowly coming down brick by brick.

For here's Paul, in Sonny's world, a place few had ever been invited into to see with their own eyes. And here’s Sonny, wanting him here. Him, and no one else.

When they're lying down on Sonny's bed, Sonny asks Paul, “You ever been in the middle of a twister?”

“No, I haven't. But that, and my teeth falling out.”

Sonny sucks in a breath, “Me too!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, totally. It's like I'm an old man already.”

Paul laughs good-naturedly, “What other dreams do you have?”

Sonny thinks, “Uh, earthquakes?”

Paul calls his bluff, “Really?”

Sonny caves, “No.” and laughs.

A little later, after some exploring of each other's faces with just their hands, Sonny actually gets deep for a moment,

“You know something? There's this one dream that keeps creeping up, where I'm in bed. It starts out like I'm just waking up or getting ready for work, but I'm on the phone. I'm talking to someone about an inscription. It says, "To Our New Beginning.", and once it's confirmed, I hang up, as I hear the shower running.

And it's amazing, like that's exactly where I'm meant to be, what I'm meant to be doing. I'm content. I'm happy. But then I realize... something is missing. Like someone is supposed to be coming out of that shower, but every time the door opens, nobody's there. It's just me. By myself. Alone.”**

Sonny pauses here, perhaps thinking of how to finish the thought, but he just says, “And then I'm awake.”

As Paul listens to Sonny's spiel, Paul realizes that these aren't stories you just tell someone for the hell of it. No, stories like these, you had to earn someone's trust first before getting the privilege of hearing them.

Paul can feel Sonny's wall coming down, and couldn't help but wonder if anyone else ever got this far.

Which is what made the next six words to come out of Sonny's mouth even more life-changing.

“I've never told anyone that before.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **When Sonny ordered the mp3 player for Will, before the truth about Will's daughter came out.


	12. Quelqu'un M'a Dit

_Day 109_

“So what are you two, exactly?” Chad asks Paul, when they're all at Paul’ place, getting the details.

Paul answers honestly, “I'm not sure.”

Chad asks, “Well, are you two a couple?”

Paul shakes his head, “It's not that easy.”

Neil pipes up, holding a plate of food while talking, “Actually, it is.”

Paul scoffs, “What, like are we serious? Give me a break. We're two consenting adults. We feel how we feel. Who cares what we are? Labels are stupid.”

Neil notes, “You sound really, really stupid.”

Chad agrees, “You actually do.”

Paul goes on offense, “Okay, number one,” he points at Neil, “When was the last time you ever dated anyone, huh?” then he turns back to Chad, “And you've been with Abi since what, 1998?”

Chad corrects him, “‘97, thank you very much.”

But Paul isn't fazed, “Okay, ‘97. But, see, that's my point. You two don't exactly have the final say in what a modern relationship should be.”

_Day 118_

“So what should I do?” Paul asks Ari, at skating practice.

Ari tells him the truth, “Ask him.”

Paul was hoping Ari wouldn't say that, and the answer just makes him sigh.

Ari, exasperated, asks, “What?”

Paul tries to explain, “Why push it? Things are going so well. When you start pushing for a label, that's when things go wrong. It's like dropping the L word on the first date.”

Ari nods in sympathy, “Yeah, I get that. It's what happened between me and my last boyfriend.”

Paul is surprised, and demands, “Who the hell was your last boyfriend?”

Ari just says, “The one I had after my last boyfriend before that.” Clearly, Ari doesn't feel like sharing details.

Paul thinks about pushing, but decides to let it go, “So you're saying-.”

Ari just spells it out, “I'm saying you actually do want to ask him. Anyone can see that. You're just worried if you do, you'll get a different answer than the one you want, which will send you into a reality check of how the past few months have actually been. But if it were me, I'd find out now before you show up at his place unannounced, and he's in bed with EJ DiMera from the UK.”

Paul thinks this is a weird thing to say “Who's EJ DiMera from the UK?”

Ari teases him, “Just some tall hunky British guy he met in Memphis, named after Elvis himself.”

But then, the coach calls for Ari to get back on the ice, and Paul tries to stall for a moment or two, “Wait, coach, I'm not done yet.”

Ari's had enough, so he just states the obvious, “It's easy, Paul. Quit dancing around it and just ask him.”

Later, Sonny and Paul are in Sonny's car, driving towards the movie theater. They're not really talking, just enjoying the quiet.

But Paul can't stop thinking about what they're doing. Or, rather, what ARE they doing?

Paul sighs, cause he realizes he really does need to know where he stands.

Sonny notices this, and asks, “You alright?”

Paul tries to play it off as nothing, “Yeah.”

Sonny pushes, “You sure?”

Finally, Paul decides to bite the bullet, “Sonny, I need to know something. What're we... what're we doing?”

At first, Sonny's confused, “I thought we were going to the movies.”

Paul clarifies, “Yes, but I meant... what's going on with the two of us?”

Finally getting what Paul meant, Sonny answers truthfully, “I don't know. But who cares? I'm happy. Aren't you?”

Seeing he's not going to get a definite answer, Paul decides to just let it go. “Yes.”

But really, Paul is actually okay with Sonny's non answer. He's absolutely sure that if Sonny had to, he would tell people they're together. He takes comfort in the thought.

With that, the two share a smile, and they continue the rest of the drive in silence.


	13. You Loved Him, You Were Kissing

_Day 259_

Paul and Sonny are at a bar, and Paul is trying to educate Sonny on when fashion was the best.

“London 1964. Last time people really knew how to dress. Now, it's just crazy sunglasses on the back of your head, or body piercings. Or purses big enough to fit a tiny dog on them. Seriously, who said this was okay?”

But instead of agreeing with him, Sonny's actually not really interested in the conversation at all, and just says, “Some people are okay with it.”

Paul tries to focus on Sonny again, “I like your sense of style.”

But I Sonny surprises him by saying, “I was actually thinking about getting a tattoo on my back. About yea big.” He makes a small circle with one hand.

Paul thinks the whole idea already sounds ridiculous, “No.”

Sonny laughs, but even Paul can tell he was actually kind of serious.

But before he can actually say anything else, some jerk sits right next to Sonny, greeting him, “Yo.”

But apparently he doesn't realize Sonny's with Paul, cause he keeps talking, “How's it going?”

Sonny tries to be polite, “Um, fine.”

But the guy keeps talking, “You live near here?”

Again, Sonny tries to be polite, while not really giving out any information, “Yeah. Somewhere in the ballpark.”

Sonny's entire body language, as well as his words, should be enough to tell anyone that he's not interested, but the guy's either clueless, or he's choosing to ignore it.

“Never seen you around here before.”

Sonny tries to give a small hint, “Well, you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?”

But the guy just laughs, “Good one. You're a funny guy.” Then, the guy gets a little closer, “I wanna buy you a drink.”

Sonny politely declines, “No thanks, I'm good.”

Which is when the guy actually takes notice of Paul on Sonny's other side, “You're with him?”

Paul copies Sonny, trying to be polite, “Hi. I'm Paul.”

But just like that, the guy's back to ignoring him, “I don't care.” He turns his attention back to Sonny, “Come on. One drink. Pick your poison.”

Sonny declines again, a little more forcefully, “I said no.”

Wouldn't you know it, that's when the guy decides to pick on Paul again, “You can't be serious. This guy?”

Paul tries to defend himself again, “Hey-.” But Sonny beats him to it, “You know what? Quit being an asshole. As flattering as your offer is, I'm not interested. So why don't you take your lame pick up lines somewhere else and leave us alone? Thanks a lot.”

But the guy's not one to give up as easily, so he turns to Paul, smirking as he says, “Hey. Free country. That's why we have rights now.”

But when neither of them take the bait, the guy finally starts walking away, but not before getting one last zinger in, “I can't believe this bozo here is your boyfriend.” and laughs, before finally walking away.

But Paul can't let that slide, he just can't, and before he knows what he's doing, he's walking right up and getting in the guy's face, and throwing a punch.

Sonny looks utterly shocked, and when Paul comes back to his seat, Sonny asks, “What the hell are you doing?”

But Paul never gets a chance to answer, because the guy comes right back and lands a solid punch right back.

They head to Sonny's apartment, and Paul is still talking about what just happened,

“It was just this surreal thing. It just happened so fast, but actually, it's like the whole thing was happening in slow motion, like everything was just...I don't know. It didn't feel like you'd expect it to “

But then Sonny slams a drawer, which tips Paul off that something isn't right here.

“What's wrong?”

Sonny just stands there for a moment, shaking his head, before answering, “I seriously can't believe you.”

Paul is sure he heard wrong, “You can't believe ME?”

Sonny keeps going, “That was just completely not cool what you did back there.”

Now Paul knows he didn't hear wrong, but now he can't believe Sonny's actually upset with him, “Are you angry at me? I just threw a punch in for you. And got one back for you too, I might add.”

That's when Sonny finally turns to look at Paul, “Oh, so that was for me? That was supposed to be you defending my honor?”

Paul thinks it should be obvious, “Yes, actually, it was.”

Sonny tries to simplify it, “Okay, then next time? Don't. I'm not some goddamn damsel in distress.”

Then Sonny moves to his bed, and tells Paul, “You know what? I'm exhausted. Can we talk about this in the morning?”

Paul doesn't know what to say here, and turns to leave, heading for the door.

But then, he remembers something, and he turns back to where Sonny's standing.

“Actually, no. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on here.”

Sonny just blows him off, “Nothing.” he lets out a sigh, before saying, “We’re just…”

Paul asks, “What? We're what?”

Then it hits Paul like a bolt of lightning what Sonny's about to say, the one thing Paul knew was going to happen, but foolishly hoped he was wrong.

“We’re just friends.”

And Paul has had it. He can't let Sonny get away with saying that. Not this time.

“No! Don't you dare pull that crap with me! You do not treat your friends like this. Our first kiss in the copy room? Holding hands? Kitchen sex? Come on. Friends, my ass!”

Sonny goes to sit down then, and he knows he's being a little unfair, but he also did tell Paul up front what his deal was.

“I like you just fine, Paul. I just don't want a relationship.”

But Paul is past the point where he'd allow that to slide.

“Well, guess what! I'm a part of this too, and that means you're not the only one who gets a say! I do too, and I say we're a couple, and that's that! Goddamnit!” and storms out of the apartment, slamming the door shut.

Naturally, neither of them can sleep after that fight. Once, Paul goes to dial Sonny, but changes his mind. Regardless of how it came out, he still meant what he said back there.

Paul was fully expecting to be spending the rest of the night alone, lying awake, but apparently someone else had other ideas.

He hears the doorbell ring, and he gets up to answer it, not sure who it could be.

Imagine Paul' surprise when he answers it, and it's Sonny, dripping wet from the pouring rain.

But it's Sonny who speaks first, “I shouldn't have acted like that.”

Paul asks, “Like what?”

Sonny tells him, “Gotten mad at you. I'm really sorry.”

Seeing how Sonny really does look like he's upset, Paul sighs, and tells Sonny,

“It's alright. We don't have to put a label on it. I understand. But I don't think it's asking too much if I'm just wanting some sort of consistency.”

“I know.”

But Paul keeps going, “I need to know that you're gonna not wake up, or leave here, and suddenly change your mind about me.”

But here's where Sonny has to be honest, so he gets up in Paul personal space, and whispers,

“I can't do that. Nobody can.”

With that, Sonny kisses Paul, Paul shuts the door, and they wind down for a very intimate night.


	14. Old Flames, The Penis Game, Art, and Suffering

_Day 260_

Sonny and Paul are lying in Paul’s bed, talking about past relationships, of all things.

“What about you? Did you ever even have a relationship before?”

Sonny rolls his eyes, and answers, “Duh, of course.”

Paul prods gently, “Tell me about them.”

But Sonny doesn't wanna do that, “Nuh uh.”

“Why not?”

“Because it's not important.”

“I don't care. I'm interested.”

Seeing Paul is going to be relentless until he caves, he tells Paul, “Fine. You wanna hear about my dirty laundry?"

Paul nods, “Yes. I can handle it.”

“Fine. First, in high school, there was Leo.”

Paul rolls his eyes, “Quarterback?”

“Nope. But he was a very artistic guy.”

Paul chuckles, but otherwise doesn't comment.

“Then, in college, there was Brian.”

Paul is picturing some hippie dude, but that shatters when he hears Sonny say,

“He was nice enough, but we both knew it wasn't gonna last. Then there was that one semester I took in Greece. Of course, met a hot Greek god, who wasn't shy when it came to nudity.”

Paul is definitely jealous at this point, but he only asks, “That's all of them?”

Sonny nods, “The ones that lasted anyway.”

Paul asks, in an attempt to try and crack the code, “So what happened? Why didn't they work out?”

But Sonny's just as vague as ever, “Same as always. Life.”

_Day 266_

They're sitting on a hill, and Sonny's just proposed a new game for them to play.

“That's the most juvenile thing I've ever heard.”

Sonny argues, “No, it's not. I swear. Trust me. I'm absolutely serious. Tell you what, I'll go first.”

Sonny scooches back a little, takes a breath, and says, “Penis.”

Then he looks to Paul, giving him a shove to encourage him to go next.

Finally, Paul complies, a little louder, “Penis.”

Then Sonny again, also louder, “Penis.”

Paul goes louder as well, hoping Sonny will realize it's not appropriate what they're doing, “Penis!”

But Sonny still gets louder, “Penis!”

Paul is starting to get self conscious, “There's kids. We should stop.”

Sonny calls his bluff, “You know damn well there's no kids.”

Embarrassed, Paul goes louder again, “Penis!”

But Sonny keeps it up, “Penis!”

Paul asks, “Are you having fun with this?”

Sonny nods, “Yes, I am.”

Paul asks in a fit of jealousy, “You did this with your Greek god a lot, didn't you?”

Sonny shakes his head, “Not at all. We hardly left the bed.”

And that makes Paul bolder, “Penis!”, only to get dirty looks from someone walking past them.

But that still doesn't deter Sonny, “Penis!”

Paul goes for one more time, “Penis!”

But then Sonny goes seriously loud, “PENIIIS!”

And Paul claps a hand over Sonny's mouth, “Cut that out. Everyone's staring.”

Surprisingly, Sonny goes compliant pretty fast, “I'm done. Seriously, I'm done.”

Paul asks, “You're done?”

Sonny nods, and Paul removes his hand. “Promise, I'm done.”

It's quiet for several seconds, but really, it's Paul's fault for thinking he'd stop so easily.

“PENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!”

With that, Paul tackles him to the ground, and they're laughing their heads off.

_Day 191_

Sonny and Paul are at an art museum. All the paintings are weird. They look like close-ups of someone's intestines. Or something.

And then, they see a pile of something they're not quite sure of, maybe blocks, or keys, or something else.

Sonny attempts to look on the bright side, “It's saying everything, but saying nothing at all.”

But then, they reach a piece that they can't really excuse. It seriously looks like a swirly turd.

Paul asks, “You wanna get out of here?”

Sonny immediately agrees, “Yep.”

And they hightail it out of the art exhibit.

They wind up at the movies, where they have a good time, drinking soda and eating popcorn.

All in all, a pretty good day.

_Day 314_

Paul is seeing some random french film, and can't help but wonder what it would look like if it was based off of him.

  
  


_“He is broken.” a narrator says in French, as Paul takes a balloon and keeps walking, getting no joy from the balloon._

_“More than broken, he's alone. His only friend is grief.”_

_Paul keeps walking, until he realizes a mime had been following him. The mime has a look of longing at the balloon, and Paul decides to be nice and give it to him._

_The mime takes it, and smiles for a moment. But then he's back to playing sad, as he slowly releases the balloon._

_They both look up as the balloon floats away, and when Paul looks at the mime again, the mime proceeds to slap him._

_The scene changes, with Paul facing the camera, half his face cast in shadow, while only one side of Sonny's face is seen._

_“In any case, suffering.”_

_Paul says, “Suffering.”_

_The narrator, “Endless suffering.”_

_Sonny speaks, “So much suffering.”_

_The narrator, “The kind of suffering that doesn't end.”_

_Sonny and Paul, one after the other, “Suffering.” “Suffering.”_

_The narrator returns, “A shitload of suffering is what I'm saying.”_

_The scene changes again, this time Paul is on the beach, in a knight's uniform, playing chess with a Cupid._

_Paul makes what he thinks is a good move, then tells the cherub, in French, “Your move.”_

_But the Cupid makes a surprise move, and checkmates him, and responds, “Better luck next time…bitch.”_

_Paul only buries his hands in his face, and the film ends._

_Fin._

By then, the movies already over, and Paul wakes up from his nap.

Seeing everyone's leaving, he decides he doesn't really have a reason to stick around, so he gets up and leaves as well.


	15. I Love Us

_Day 321_

Paul is sitting at his desk when his boss’ new assistant comes up to him, “Paul? Boss wants to see you in his office.”

Paul gets up, walks to his boss' office, and knocks.

He looks up, “Paul. Glad you're here. Have a seat.”

Paul moves to one of the chairs and sits down, letting out a sigh.

Paul's boss decides to just get right to it, “Did something happen to you recently?”

Paul doesn't particularly feel like talking about his problems with his boss of all people, so he plays dumb, “What do you mean?”

Then his boss asks, “Did someone die, is someone in the hospital. Something like that?”

This, Paul can say with confidence, “No, sir. Nothing like that.”

But apparently his boss is more perceptive than he lets on, “Look, I don't mean to butt into your business, but does it have anything to do with Sonny quitting?”

Again, Paul plays dumb, “Who?”

Paul's boss clarifies, “My former assistant.”

Paul just keeps playing dumb, hoping that'll make this whole thing go faster, “Your-.”

That's when his boss decides to just rip off the band-aid, “Paul, everyone knows.”

When Paul just looks away, his boss just moves on, “Nevermind. The real reason I'm asking is because lately, your work performance has been a bit off.”

Either Paul genuinely doesn't know what he's talking about, or he doesn't really care, “Not following.”

He picks up a prototype on his desk, “Okay. You wrote this one last week. 'Roses are red, violets are blue.” He opens the card, “'Die, faggot.’” He closes the card, “Call me crazy, but most shoppers on Valentine's day-.”

But Paul cuts him off, needing to know if his suspicions are right, “Am I fired?”

But it looks like he's wrong, as his boss says, “No! Not at all. You're one of the good ones we have here.”

Paul relaxes a little then, “Alright. I'm sorry. You're right. Things have been a little difficult.”

His boss is completely sympathetic, “And that's fine. I understand. But perhaps, for work’s sake, you could try channeling your energies towards... something like this.”

His boss slides some cards to Paul’s side. Paul takes one look at them, and asks, “Funerals and sympathy?”

His boss nods, “Misery. Sadness. Loss of faith. I think, for where your head's at right now, it's perfect.”

When Paul doesn't object, his boss dismisses him, “Alright. Glad we had this talk. Back to work. Chop chop.”

With that, Paul gets up and leaves the office, but as he does, he sees a card on a table he helped come up with. Which makes him think back to that day.

_Day 167_

Paul walks into work, feeling like a spring chicken, when Neil catches up to him, “Hey. Don't you still need to crank out 20 cards?”

But Paul isn't worried at all, “Not at all. They're all finished.”

But apparently Neil has another reason for stopping him, “Can you help me out then? How many different ways can you say 'Congrats’? Cause I think I've hit every one of them. 'Good job’ 'Well done’ 'Way to go’. They're all there.”

Paul thinks about it, before he responds, “Try, 'Every day you make me proud...but today you get a card.’”

Neil is impressed, “That's good. I like that.”

Paul is smug, “I know.”

Over in Religious and holidays, he suggests to them, “Why don't you try, 'Merry’?”.

You'd think they'd never heard the word in their life, the way they thank him for his help.

Then, over in the Valentine's Day section, one of the workers says, “We've been stuck on this thing for an hour. Really, anything you can do to help is appreciated.”

Paul thinks on it, but then, he catches Sonny's eye, and right then, the perfect line comes to him, and not only does it work, it's what winds up on that card, on that table, after Paul has been put in Funerals and sympathy.

_Day 321_

'I Love Us.’


	16. Train In Vain (Stand By Me)

_Day 322_

When Paul gets up in the morning, he starts a new mantra.

“I hate Sonny.”

He continues his train of thought all the way to work, from when he leaves his apartment, to when he's on the bus.

“I hate his shit eating smile.

I hate his over gelled hair.

I hate how he walks like he's so much better than everyone else.

I hate all the fat on his smug little face.

I hate his stupid fish lips

I hate his little piggy snort when he laughs."

But he finally loses it when he has his music on, and of all songs, Clarity comes on, and without thinking, he shouts,

“I HATE THIS SONG!”

Unfortunately, because he said this out loud, it was enough to disturb the other people on the bus, and the driver actually pulls over and says,

“Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to please get off the bus.”

_Day 345_

Of all things, Chad and Abi have decided it's time for Paul to start trying to see new people. The guy, Mike, seems nice enough.

“I usually don't do blind dates, but you came highly recommended from Chad and Abi.”

Paul just says noncommittally, “Mhm.”

Mike tries again, “They told me you write greeting cards. That's super neat. I've actually always wanted to be a writer. I was an English major, but realistically, it's not like that's gonna go anywhere, right? I went to Brown. How about you?”

Finally, Paul can't take it. It's not fair to him. “Mike?”

Mike pauses his monologue to ask, “Hm?”

Paul tries to let her down easy, “Listen, it's really nice to meet you, and you're very... attractive. But I really need to tell you up front that this isn't going anywhere.”

Mike definitely wasn't expecting that so soon, “Oh.”

They're sitting down in a diner, the same one where Sonny dumped him, and Paul is telling Mike the skinny on what happened.

“I liked this guy. Okay, actually I loved him. And what does he do? He takes a bat right to my kneecaps, literally.”

Mike looks shocked to hear that, “Literally?”

Paul can't believe he has to clarify that, “No, not literally. Come on. Jesus. What the hell's wrong with you?”

“The point is,” Paul says now, taking a sip of vodka, “I'm fucked up. I really am. On one hand, I want to forget I ever met him. On the other, I just know that he's the one person on this entire planet that I'm supposed to be with.”

Mike just nods along, listening.

Paul keeps talking, “You ever do something like this? Thinking back to all the times you had together with someone, replaying it over and over, looking for the signs it was all about to be over? Way I see it, either he's the Antichrist, sent to Earth to cause pain and misery...or he's just an asshole.”

Finally, Mike speaks up, “Can I ask you something?”

Paul takes a sip, and nods, “Okay.”

“He never cheated on you?”

“No. Not at all.”

“He never took advantage of you in any way?”

Paul hesitates, but truthfully, the answer is the same, “No.”

“And he told you up front that he didn't want a boyfriend?”

Paul confirms, “Yeah.” But he's not really getting what Mike's trying to point out.

Meanwhile, Mike looks at him like the answer should be glaringly obvious.

But apparently it just went right over Paul’s head, cause next he says, “Hey. You know what we should do?”

Next thing they know, Paul is singing karaoke drunkenly, while Mike is just sitting close to the stage, looking extremely bored, before he decides she's not gonna waste anymore time, and gets up and leaves.

Paul sees this, and just says, “That's just great. Buh-bye. Waste of time. You're nothing like Sonny."


	17. Mushaboom

_Day 402_

Paul is getting on a train to a wedding for his co-worker, the same one who's engagement party he talked to Sonny at. As soon as he's actually on the train, he pulls out his phone and calls Neil, literally the only reason he's even going to this stupid wedding in the first place.

When Neil picks up, first thing he says is, “Hello, darling.”

“Hello, Neil. Are you already here?”

"Hell, no. I'm not going.”

“Yes you are.”

“No, I'm not. It'll be nothing but a bunch of elders.”

“But you said you were going. That's literally the only reason I am.”

“That's why I did the smart thing and called her the night before and told her I was sick.”

“I can't believe you. I'm not going to know anyone there.”

“Aw, don't be sad. Maybe you'll sack one of the grandchildren.”

Paul is too pissed off to put up with this conversation, so he says, “I'm hanging up.”

“Byeeee.”

After hanging up, Paul continues to make his way to his seat, and he's so focused on it, he actually completely bypasses Sonny sitting in an aisle seat.

Finally, Paul finds his own seat, and hangs up his tuxedo in the above compartment. Once he's settled, he turns his head to look behind him, and confirms that yes, Sonny Kiriakis is on this train with him. He looks just long enough to catch his eye, then turns back, not wanting Sonny to think he still cares.

But apparent Sonny wanted something else, because Paul hears footsteps, and then, he's being greeted by Sonny,

“Hey, Paul.”

Paul looks up, and says, “Sonny. I guess I walked right by you. Um, what are you doing? Did you get invited to Gabi's?”

When Sonny nods, Paul says, “Me too. Guess I forgot you knew her too.”

Sonny nods, “Yeah, we worked together all that time, so. But god, I love her. She's so sweet.”

Paul agrees, “Yes. She is.”

Finally, Sonny asks, “How are you?”

Paul half-lies, “I'm...good.”

Sonny keeps talking, “I sent you an email, but never heard back, so…”

Paul confirms, “Yes, of course. Sorry. I just, you know, got a little crazy. Holidays, so work was just…”

Sonny asks, “Still working for the man, huh?”

Paul nods, “Yes.”

Sonny invites him, “I was just gonna grab a cup of java, if you wanna, I dunno…” Sonny seems to get shy here, so he focuses on the book Paul has in his lap. “The Architecture of Happiness. Looks like an interesting read.”

Paul clears his throat, so Sonny takes that to mean Paul is done with the conversation, “Well, I won't keep you any longer.”

But Paul has a change of heart, “No no, not at all. You know what? I'll take some coffee.”

Paul follows Sonny to the coffee cart, and the rest of the time on the train goes by in flashes.

The two of them talk at a table, and all the things Paul loves about Sonny are still there. The smile, the laugh. In fact, if he didn't know better, he'd say that Sonny's actually flirting with him.

Before long, they're at the train station, and not long after that, they're at the wedding, Paul managing to get there before Sonny does.

When Paul looks back, he sees Sonny dressed in a very handsome tuxedo, giving him a small wave. Paul gives one back, and once Sonny catches up, they walk to their seats together.

At one point, while everyone else is filling in, Sonny leans over to whisper in Paul’ ear, “Penis.”

But there's a time and place to play that game, and a wedding definitely isn't it. So Paul gives a small snicker, and just says, “No.”

The ceremony passes by quickly, and just like that, Gabi is pronounced married to her now husband.

At the reception, everyone has a good time. Sonny even gets up to dance with the band, and everyone has a good laugh at that.

But somehow, Paul and Sonny wind up sitting at a table, talking about their faults.

“That all you got, Paul?”

“Fine. You snore.”

“What? I do not!”

“I'm afraid you do.”

“Nuh uh. I do not. Well, I take that back. You do too.”

Paul acknowledges this, “I know I do.”

But Sonny's got another one for Paul, “And your feet are rank.”

Paul can't believe Sonny would bring this up now, “One time!”

Sonny shakes his head, “Nope. That one time especially, but it's literally every time. Not to mention, your messy bedhead. It's freaking ridiculous.”

Paul fires back a lame retort, “You're ridiculous. Your favorite Cabbie is Walla.”

Sonny slams a hand on the table, “Damn right. Walla is the best.”

Paul says, “Walla-.” But gets interrupted by a kid that tags Sonny, calling, “Goose!”

Paul then has to stop their conversation, because Sonny proceeds to stand up, and chase after the kid. Sonny doesn't tag him though, so he has to go around the table.

But then, it's time for the bouquet toss. At first, Sonny and Paul don't move, cause it's supposed to be for girls, but Gabi surprises them by encouraging them to get in on it as well.

Not wanting to be rude, they do as she asks, and get right into it, and on the count of three, Gabi tosses her bouquet. Everyone reaches for it, straining their arms and nearly knocking each other over, but amazingly, it's Sonny who winds up with the bouquet. Paul can't help but smile when he sees Sonny caught it. Maybe it's a sign.

Sonny and Paul wind up doing a few shots, and surprisingly, Paul manages to work up the courage to ask Sonny, “Would you like to dance with me?”

Also surprisingly, Sonny accepts, and just like that, they're just another one of the slow dancing couples at a wedding for a coworker.

Once they're comfortable, Sonny speaks up,

“Actually, I was wondering if um...I'm having a get together on Friday. Our roof top has a really cool garden. Wanna come?”

If this wasn't a sign of the universe answering him, the universe could go to hell. Here's Sonny, with him, slow dancing, looking at him just like he used to, and inviting him to a party that he's throwing.

Paul smiles, and accepts, “Yes. I'd love to.”

Much later, when Paul is back on the train, this time with Sonny falling asleep on his shoulder, his smile is the biggest it's been since before Sonny dumped him.

_Day 408_

That Friday, Paul walks to Sonny's apartment, intoxicated by the promise of the evening. He truly believes that this time, his expectations are perfectly aligned with reality.


	18. Hero (Expectation)

_Day 408_

Paul gets to the apartment building, and makes his way up the stairs. It takes a while, but he eventually makes it there, gift in hand.

Paul knocks on the door, and Sonny answers. As a greeting, Sonny gives him a peck on the lips, and moves to let him in.

Paul takes a quick survey of the place, and notices there actually aren't that many people here at all. Maybe about 4 or 5 other people, but otherwise, it's just them.

Paul turns back to Sonny, and gives him the gift. Slowly, Sonny opens it, and once he and once he sees the book Paul was reading, “The Architecture of Happiness”, he smiles, and gives Paul a hug. “Thank you, really.”

They move out to the patio, where they talk some more, and it's like there wasn't a breakup at all. Everything they talked about just flows naturally, and Paul feels like he's in heaven.

At one point, they move to the edge of the balcony, and keep talking, but suddenly, Sonny grabs Paul's hand, and leads him back inside.

Paul has Sonny up against a wall, and before either of them are truly aware of it, they're kissing.

They keep kissing and kissing until their lips are swollen, and the rest of the night just passes by in a blur, and when they wake up next to each other in the morning, they share a passionate smile, and Paul knows now more than ever, that they will be together forever.

He makes a mental note to call a local jeweler in the morning, and find the perfect ring.


	19. Hero (Reality)

_Day 408_

Paul gets to the apartment building, and makes his way up the stairs. It takes a while, but he eventually makes it there, gift in hand.

Paul knocks on the door, and Sonny answers. As a greeting, Sonny gives him a small hug, then moves to let him in.

Paul takes a quick survey of the place, and notices there's actually a bunch of people here. Many of which Paul swears he's never met before. This was definitely not the small get together he was picturing.

Paul turns back to Sonny, and gives him the gift. Slowly, Sonny opens it, and once he sees the book Paul was reading, “The Architecture of Happiness”, he smiles, and gives Paul a small pat on the shoulder. “Thank you. Really.”

They move out to the patio, where one of the many strangers strikes up a conversation with Paul,

“So, Paul, what is it that you do?”

Paul tells her politely, “I write greeting cards.”

Sonny interrupts here to tell her, “Paul here could be one hell of an architect if he wanted to.”

But the same woman keeps talking to Paul, “That's really unusual. How does one go from architecture to writing greeting cards?”

Paul tries to make a joke here, “Guess I just thought, ‘Why make something disposable like a building when I could make something that lasts forever, like a greeting card?’.”

Thankfully, the other guests laugh with him, and Sonny gives Paul a cute smile.

Once that conversation ends, Paul somehow winds up near the edge of the patio by himself, sipping his beer and looking at the view.

But mostly, he's watching Sonny mingle with all his friends, seeing how good he looks.

The whole thing just makes him go over to where the drinks are and squeeze some lime into his newly poured gin and tonic.

But then, Paul sees Sonny showing something off to someone, and it's like time literally stops. He can't move, can't think, he's not even sure he remembers how to breathe. But one thing is for sure, he will not be hooking up with Sonny tonight, or any other night ever again.

Finally, when his brain manages to come back online, he moves straight for back inside, back through the front door, all the way out of the building and back to his own apartment.

Paul can feel everything else slipping away, like someone took a giant eraser and just rubbed it all away, until there's absolutely nothing left, except for the faint glint of the ring on Sonny's left hand.


	20. The Infinite Pet

_Day 440_

Paul's alarm clock goes off at 7 sharp, and he smacks a hand down on it to shut it off. But that's about the extent of what he feels like doing today.

_Day 441_

Paul's alarm clock goes off, and again, he hits it to turn it off. Since the day before, his nightstand is littered with junk food wrappers.

But today is gonna be different. He gets up to get dressed, and heads right out the door.

And heads straight to the nearest convenience store to buy orange juice, hard whiskey, and all the snack cakes his hands are capable of touching.

When he brings all that to the counter, the clerk gives him a weird look, but thankfully, he doesn't ask questions, just rings it all up and puts it in a bag for him.

As Paul exits the store, a couple holding hands walk past him, and he's still feeling shitty enough to where he just has to say something,

“Hey. You're out in public. Put that away.”

The couple give him a dirty look, but Paul is already moving on, heading back to his apartment in his bathrobe.

  
  


Day 442

The place is a complete and utter mess by this point, and when his alarm goes off, it's like he doesn't even hear it anymore.

But somehow, he actually pulls himself together enough to actually get showered, dressed, and head to work.

Neil is on the phone, trying to get Paul on the phone when he finally sees Paul walk in, wearing a pair of sunglasses.

When Paul sits down at his desk, Neil hangs up the phone and tells him, “I've been calling every 5 minutes. You alright?”

Paul so doesn't feel like reliving the nightmare again, so he just says, “I'm alright.”

But Neil is too smart for that, “What happened?”

Paul says bluntly, “I don't feel like talking about it.”

Neil retorts, “You always feel like talking about it.”

Paul shakes his head, “Not this time.”

Neil moves on, “Fine, then. Come on. We gotta go.”

Paul's little bender has thrown his entire calendar out of whack, so he has to ask, “Go where?”

Neil moves past him, reminding Paul, “It's Thursday!”

The meeting starts with a coworker showing off new designs featuring a cat.

She gestures to the one on the right, where the cat is on top of a roof and reaching for a bird in the sky, “This one says, ‘Go for it.’”

Then she gestures to the one on the left, where the cat is sitting on a bar stool, one paw on the counter, with a glass of milk next to him, “This one says, 'You can do it.’ It's a whole line of inspirational photographic cards featuring my cat. I think they will appeal to our customers. Thank you.”

She goes to sit down, and Mr. Adler praises her, “Good job, Rhonda. Very good stuff. So who's next?”

Mr. Adler turns to Paul, “Anything in Sympathy? Haven't heard anything in a while. Anything to contribute, Narita?”

But Paul hasn't really been paying the slightest attention the whole time, let alone ideas for cards, so he admits, “No, I really, really don't.”

Mr. Adler goes to move onto the next section, but Paul interrupts, “Actually can I say something? About the cat?”

Mr. Adler hesitates, before allowing, “Okay.”

Paul turns to Rhonda first, “No offense, Rhonda, honestly, but this is complete and utter bullshit.”

Neil tries to stop him, “Paul…”

But Paul isn't about to be stopped now that he's already started, “'Go for it’ and 'You can do it'? That not inspirational at all. It's suicidal, if anything.” Paul gestures to the card samples, “If tte cat goes for that bird, you got a dead cat on your hands right there.”

Then, he turns back to everyone else, “It's a bunch of lies, and we're the lying liars who tell them.”

Seeing he's got everyone's attention, he keeps going, “Think about it. Why do people buy cards? Cause it sure isn't because they want to say how they feel. It's cause they can't, or they're scared to say how they feel. And here we are, with a service that lets them off scot free.”

Paul stands up here, “You know what? To hell with all of it. Why don't we level with our customers, huh? Let them speak for themselves. I mean-look! What does this say?”

He reaches for a smaller prototype on the table, “Congratulations on your new baby, right? How about instead, we say, 'Congratulations on your new baby. Guess that's the end of is hanging out. Nice knowing you.'”

Mr. Adler attempts to regain control of the situation, “Sit down, Narita.”

But Paul is still going strong, grabbing another prototype, “How about this one, with all the hearts on it. Betcha I know exactly where this is going.” He opens it, “Yep! Happy Valentine's day. I love you.” He closes it. “Ain't that something? Ain't it the thing of miracles? This is exactly what I've been talking about. What does love even mean, huh? Does anyone here know? Huh?”

Again, Neil tries to get Paul to calm down, “Paul…”

But Paul is beyond help now, “Mr. Adler, if I got this card, I would personally take this and put it through the shredder.”, then he throws the prototype back on the desk. “It's just all of it. The damn cards, the movies, the endless number of stupid songs, they're really the ones to blame for all the lies we've been spouting. For all the pain that comes because they didn't prepare us for it. And we're responsible too. I'm responsible. We do a seriously horrible thing here. People should just say how they feel, not just some words somebody else wrote on a stupid card. Words like 'love’ that really don't mean anything at all.”

But then, it's like Paul suddenly realizes what he needs to do. What the real right thing to do is here. He grabs his jacket, and says to the entire room,

“I'm sorry. I really am.”

He pushes his chair back in, and says for the record,

“I quit. I'm just done. There's plenty of crap to go around without me adding to it.”

With that, he walks right out, not yet knowing if he just made a huge mistake, or one of the best decisions of his life.


	21. Bookends

_Day 450_

Paul is at another one of Ari's skating practices, sketching. Once Ari gets the opportunity, she comes off the ice to talk to Paul,

“Wow. You're sketching again.”

Paul chooses not to make a big deal out of it, since all he's really sketching is a picture of Sonny holding a knife. “Just doodling.”

Ari moves to sit on the bleachers, and tells Paul, “20 seconds. Are you okay? Go.”

Paul doesn't want Ari to worry more than necessary, “Yeah. I'm good. I'm alright.”

Ari looks like he buys it for a moment, but then he sees Paul's drawing, so he now knows better, and attempts to cheer Paul up,

“Lot of my friends on the team have a crush on you. Like we said. Plenty of fish, right?”

Paul gets Ari's just trying to help him feel better, but he has to remind Ari, “Ari, I appreciate it, but we both know those are guppies, not full on fish.”

Ari laughs, so Paul knows Ari wasn't that serious. But it looks like Ari's about to lay some truths on him, starting with, “Hey, Paul?”

Paul is sure he's not gonna like what he hears, but he's not a complete asshole, so he asks, “Hmm?”

Ari just goes for it, “I know you truly believe that Sonny was the one…” Ari pauses here, worried about how Paul is gonna take the next part. “...but I don't. I really think you're just choosing to remember the good stuff. Do me a favor. Next time you look back trying to figure out what went wrong, promise me you'll give a second look?”

The rest is up to Paul, so Ari just pats him on the shoulder and slowly gets back onto the ice.

Now that Ari's said it, and he still has no concrete answers, he decides to do as Ari says.

_Sonny and Paul walking down the street. Sonny quickly leaving the copy room after that first kiss. Holding hands in the furniture store. Laughing in Sonny's car. Paul getting punched in the face by that bar jerk. Paul yelling at Sonny for calling them friends. Sonny showing up to his apartment soaking wet. Snuggling in bed._

_But then, rather suddenly, the memories stop on a day that Paul has gone over so many times, but instead of going straight to the good parts, it starts towards the very start, when they first met up that day, deciding what movie they wanna see._

_Paul sees a movie that appeals to him, “This one's playing at 5.”_

_Sonny asks, “You wanna go see it?”_

_Paul acts nonchalantly, “I dunno. If you want, we could just go back to your place, or…”_

_But apparently Sonny was more interested in the movie than he let on, “No, you know what? I just decided. I wanna see it. Let's get going.”_

_The movie turns out to be pretty good, but at one point towards the end, Paul notices that Sonny's actually been crying._

_When everyone files out, Paul pulls Sonny aside and asks, “Sonny? You alright?”_

_Sonny quickly just brushes it off, wiping the tears away, “Yeah. Fine.”_

_Paul keeps asking, “What's wrong? Was it the movie?”_

_Sonny keeps blowing off the questions, “It's nothing. I'm just being stupid.”_

_Then Sonny starts to walk off, Paul following him, and eventually, they're back at the video rental place, talking about music._

_Paul says, “Can't believe we live in a world where nobody's heard of Tokyo Fab.”_

_Sonny doesn't appear to be really invested in the conversation, other than to say, “Never heard of them.”_

_Paul appears a little hurt, and reminds Sonny, “They’re on that mix I made you. Track 1.”_

_Sonny thinks about it, and says, “Right, right.”_

_But then the conversation is forgotten when Paul spots Chris Walla's. Field Manual, pulls it out, and shows it to Sonny._

_Sonny smiles, and then they make their way out of the store. Paul attempts to reach for Sonny's hand, but Sonny pulls away before he can._

_Once they're outside, they stand there for a moment before Paul asks,_

_“So, what do you wanna do now?”_

_But Sonny instead says, “Actually, I think I'm pretty beat. Just gonna call it a day and go home.”_

_Paul is surprised, “You don't want to go get food? You're not hungry?”_

_Sonny looks like he's about to say something here, and Paul notices, so he asks, “Are you sure you're alright?”_

_Sonny nods, “I'm tired.”_

_Paul agrees, “Alright.” But then, Sonny leans in, but instead of going for the lips, he just gives a peck on the cheek._

_For a moment, Paul doesn't move or say anything, but then he says, “I have it. Breakfast.”_


	22. Vagabond

_Days 456 - 476_

The next ten days happen one after the other. Starting with the first one, where Paul is just lying down on his bed, bouncing a tennis ball repeatedly, with no joy in it.

At least, it starts that way. But then, he starts bouncing it faster, and faster, until he's got it into a rhythm, and that leads to him suddenly being struck with inspiration.

First, Paul tears off all the papers on his big chalkboard wall, and erases all the stuff written on it.

Then, he goes to his usual hangout, with his music and several architecture books, carefully paying attention to everything he reads.

Paul gets himself a good suit, and walks into an architectural firm with his head held high, ready for his interview.

When he gets home, he gets the rejection call, and crosses off the firm's name written on the blackboard wall.

Over time, several other firms written on the wall also get crossed off, and when there's almost no names left, he actually throws his chalk, discouraged.

But Paul doesn't throw in the towel. No, instead, he moves to the completely blank section, chalk in hand, and before he knows what's hit him, he's measuring, drawing, shading, and sketching the buildings that begin to spring to life in his mind.

Inspiration from these buildings come from the view from the rooftop of his apartment building, right outside his window, and his favorite spot in the entire city, in both the day and night.

In fact, by the time Paul actually stops to survey his work, he's practically designed a brand new city all by himself.

Miles away, Paul is blissfully unaware of the fact that at the exact same moment, Sonny is getting dressed for the most important day of his life, pulling on his tuxedo jacket.

Simultaneously, while Paul rides the bus to another interview, Sonny is at the front of the aisle, with the biggest smile on his face as he stares at the man he'll soon be calling his husband.

But the weird thing is, Paul noticed that while he was so busy trying to get another job, Sonny had faded to the back of his mind.

It's funny. Not too long ago, he'd thought he'd never recover from losing Sonny, but now, it not only appears he can, he thinks eventually he will.


	23. The Art of Letting Go

_Day 488_

Paul decides today's a good day to sit at his favorite bench. Sometimes it helps him clear his head.

“Hey, stranger.”

It didn't matter that Paul hadn't thought about him for several days, he knows now he won't ever be able to truly forget Sonny Kiriakis.

Sure enough, when Paul turns to look, there he is, sitting on a bench not too far away from his own. Sonny still looks as attractive as ever, wearing a blazer and some nice dress pants. Not to mention, the very noticeable wedding ring declaring Sonny off limits.

Sonny gets up and moves closer to Paul, telling him, “Thought I might be able to catch you here.”, smiling.

Paul still says nothing, so Sonny keeps talking, “You know, ever since you brought me here, I've actually taken the time to come to this place, just to stop and try to appreciate the view like you do.”

Paul finally finds his voice, “So, um, I guess a congratulations are in order?”

Sonny teases, “Only if you really mean it.”

Paul half-teases back, “Well, in that case…”

But it looks like Sonny's after more than just simple small talk, because Sonny moves to Paul bench, asking, “So, are you okay? I mean, really?”

As Sonny goes to sit right next to Paul, Paul responds, “Eventually, I will be.”

Once Sonny's plopped down next to Paul, Sonny notices what Paul is wearing, and points it out, “Nice threads. Makes you look pretty sharp.”

Paul smiles, “Thanks. I uh, actually quit the office.”

Sonny seems surprised, “Really? That's great!”

But then, Paul points out the more upsetting news, “And you seem to be... married.”

Sonny nods, his smile now slightly forced, “I know. Crazy, huh?”

Neither of them say anything for a moment, then Paul has to remind Sonny, “You know, you really should've told me when-.”

But Sonny apparently knows what Paul is referring to, and cuts him off, “I know, man.”

But Paul needs to finish, “When we were at the wedding, dancing.”

Sonny attempts to defend himself, because it's technically true, “Well, I hadn't asked him yet.”

Paul feels like he's just been sucker punched, but quickly decides he doesn't care, “He was in your life. So why'd you dance with me, then?”

Sonny apparently doesn't seem to get why that's important, so he says, “Paul, I wanted to.”

Paul's just too hurt to really say anything else besides, “You just dance to the beat of your own drum, don't you?”

That stings, cause Sonny's smile slips a little bit more. But Paul isn't done yet.

“You never wanted to attach yourself to anyone, including me, and now you're someone's husband.”

Sonny admits, “Trust me, it surprised me just as much as you.”

But Paul doesn't think that's even remotely fair, “Which is exactly why I don't understand. I've thought about it so much, and I've come up empty.”

Sonny only answers, “It just happened, Paul.”

Paul argues, “That's what I don't get. What?”

Finally, Sonny comes clean, “I just...one day, I woke up next to him, and I knew.”

Paul pushes, “But knew what, exactly?”

Sonny bites the bullet and just tells him, “What I never really felt with you. He's every part of my heart, he makes up every fiber of my bones, he's the other half of my soul."

And that's when it really seems to sink in for Paul that there's really nothing left for him with Sonny. And it hurts.

“You know what hurts more than anything?” Paul says now, because he can't help it.

“Knowing that all the beliefs you've held dear, mean nothing.”

Sonny doesn't seem to get what Paul means, “What are you talking about?”

Paul reminds him, “You know. Destiny, fate, 'the one’, true love. All those stupid fairytales. You were right from the get-go, Sonny. I should've taken your advice.”

When Paul looks at Sonny again, Sonny is actually smiling, and Paul has to ask, “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Then, Sonny tells him something Paul definitely wasn't expecting, “Oh, I dunno. Something to do with the fact that I was at the pier, catching up with my cousin, and a guy comes up and angrily accuses me of fooling around with her behind his best friend's back, and now he's my husband.”

Paul still doesn't get why Sonny's telling him this, “Okay. So?”

Sonny clarifies, “So, what if I wasn't at the pier? Or met up with my parents instead of my cousin? What if I'd been alone? It was...it was just meant to be. And you know what? The whole time, that one nagging thought kept creeping up, ‘Paul was right.’”

Paul can't believe it, “Nuh uh.”

Sonny backs himself up, “Yes, I did. Looks like the only thing you weren't right about...was me.” Sonny says that last part quietly, like he knows it's gonna hurt, regardless.

Sonny reaches to hold Paul’s hand for a moment, his ring ever present, but then he pulls it back, saying, “I should probably go. But I'm really glad you're doing so well for yourself.”, then gets up and starts to go.

But as Paul thinks about it, he decides that it's time he finally let all the hurt go. He's been holding onto it for long enough, and he has all the answers he can expect to get.

With that in mind, he calls out, “Sonny!”

When Sonny turns, Paul tells him, “For what it's worth, I really do hope that you're happy.”

And just like that, Sonny's smile is back, and then he goes again, officially walking out of Paul’s life.

Now that Sonny's no longer here, Paul stops to do what he set out to do here, and enjoy the view. He can feel the weather start to change, and hopes this is a sign of new beginnings yet to come.


	24. She's Got You High

_Day 500_

Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin and end with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no real impact on the course of a life.

May 23rd was a Wednesday. And on that Wednesday, after Paul had entered the next architectural firm on his list, taking a moment to survey his surroundings, and rode the elevator up to where the interview was scheduled, he sits down on a couch in the waiting room, where only one other man occupies the other couch.

Once Paul sits down, he goes back to looking at all the amazing architecture that went into the buildings interior itself. But he's interrupted when he hears someone ask,

“Are you interviewing?”

Once Paul breaks his concentration, he turns to the other man, asking, “What?”

The man smiles and asks again, “Are you interviewing for the position?”

Now that he has Paul' attention, he can answer, “Oh. Yes. Why? Are you?”

He nods, “Yeah.”

Paul nods knowingly, “So I guess you're my competition then?”

Luckily, he seems to feel just as awkward as he does, “Looks that way.”

Paul replies, “Awkward.”

The other man acknowledges that, “Yeah. Definitely.”

Paul attempts to joke here, “Well, then, I hope you don't get the job.”

Thankfully, the man doesn't appear offended, and actually repeats the same thing back to him, “The feeling’s mutual.”

Then they just look at each other for a moment, and laugh at how ridiculous they both sound.

Once they've done that, the other man asks, “Have I seen your face around before?”

Paul is surprised by that question, “Who? Me? I don't think so.”

But the man's determined, “Do you ever go to the Plaza?”

Well, that was really interesting, “Actually, I do. It's just about my favorite spot in the city.”

The man agrees, “Yeah. Okay. Except for the traffic, but-”

Paul tells him, “Yes. Absolutely. I agree.”

But then the other guy tells him, “I think I might've seen you there once or twice.”

Paul definitely didn't expect that, “Really? Weird. Haven't seen you.”

The man nods, “Maybe you weren't looking.”

Now, if Paul had learned anything, it's that you can't just put great cosmic significance to something as simple as a one time chance meeting. All anything in life ever is is a coincidence. Nothing more.

Then, Paul gets called back for the interview, and he gets up to follow the man that had called him.

Paul had finally learned that miracles aren't real. Nor was fate, nor was anything really meant to be. He knows that now, he could even say he was absolutely sure of that. Paul was-

“Sorry. Um, I just left, uh, can I head back for a moment?” Paul says to the man he'd been following, and goes back to where the other man is still sitting.

Paul is pretty sure.

Once the other man is back in view, he gets his attention, “Hey.”

The other man smiles, and says, “Hello again.”

Paul nods, “I was just wondering if maybe once we're both done here, if you…” he pauses, taking in that big smile on hus face. “Wanted to get a drink or coffee or something.”

His smile slips slightly, apologizing, “I'm sorry. I'm actually supposed to be meeting someone after this.”

Paul is disappointed, but at least he put himself out there. He says, “Okay.” and turns to go again.

But apparently he wasn't giving him enough credit, because the next thing he hears is, “Sure!”

To make sure he heard a confirmation, Paul rushes back and asks, “What was that?”

The guy laughs at his eagerness, and says, “Why not?”

Glad that he asked, he tells him, “Alright. I'll just, uh, wait for you-.”

He helps him out, “We'll play it by ear.”

Paul repeats this, “We'll play it by ear.” then he holds out a hand, “My name is Paul.”

The other man holds out his own hand, “Nice to meet you. I'm Luke.”

_Day 1_


End file.
